( chattering ) ho, massachusetts ! ( Blowing nose loudly ) listen to this shit. "The new jersey council of indian affairs "has announced plans to disrupt monday's columbus day parade in newark. "Council chairman, del redclay, "professor of cultural anthropology..." stop blowin' your nose I wanna hear this. "Says council members and supporters will lie down "in the path of columbus day marchers "quote, in protest of columbus' role "in the genocide of america's native peoples, unquote. "To launch their protest, "the native americans and their sympathizers "plan to begin a death watch tomorrow over the statue of columbus in christopher columbus park." Some fuckin' balls, bad-mouthin' america, especially now. I thought that columbus was the hero of america. Nah, see it's these indians and the commie fucks. They wanna paint columbus as a slave trader instead of an explorer. Well, ya gotta admit, they did get massacred, the indians. It's not like we didn't give 'em a bunch a shit to make up for that. Land, reservations. And now they got the casinos. What the fuck we ever get we didn't have to work our balls off for ? I wouldn't mind sittin' on my ass all day, smokin' mushrooms and collectin' government checks. ( Laughing ) you know what it is ? I'll tell ya what it is. It's anti-italian discrimination. Columbus day is a day of italian pride. It's our holiday and they wanna take it away. Fuck them. But I never liked columbus. Oh ! Hey, hey. In napoli, a lot of people are not so happy for columbus, 'cause he was from genoa. What's the problem with genoa ? The north of italy always have the money and the power. They punish the south since hundreds of years. Even today, they put up their nose at us like we're peasants. I hate the north. Jesus, take it easy. I'm gonna take action here. Ro, nna go to the, uh, church luncheon tomorrow ? It's on the subject of italian-american women and pride. I guess 'cause of columbus day. Who's the star ? A woman professor from montclair state. Oh, yeah, father phil says she's very good. You should come, adriana. Me ? Yeah, come with us. Noon in the bingo room at saint peter and paul'S. They have a series of ladies luncheons every week. The food is good, and the speakers have been fantastic.

Waiting for tonight furio giunta just bought himself a little house inutley. He is so gorgeous. I'm surprised nobody snapped him up yet. I think he should lose the ponytail. You do ? I think it looks great on him. That's his trademark. Sandi fortunato says it looks like a dick comin' out of his head. And she pretends to be his friend. What awo-face. ( Vibrator sounds ) how much money did you make today, slut ? $300. That's all, bitch ? I'm gonna put you back on the street, ho. Make you work that ass. Put me back on the street baby, yeah. Work that ass, you little cunt. Yeah, you work it, baby. Mama's little tramp, mama's little whore. I'm gonna pimp you out, bitch. ( Phone ringing theme song from "rocky" ) I gotta get that. Hello ? Oh, no, no. Hi, ro, how are ya ? What ? I can't hear ya too good. It must be your cell phone, you in the car ? Oh, no, no, I'm comin' home. Yeah. Nah, chicken's great. ( Vibrator stopping ) um... no, yeah, me, too. Bye. God, we're so naughty. How can we do this with ro on the phone ? What ? We're so wacky. No regard for nothing, huh ? Alright. ( Female ) operator. Yeah, I'd like to make a collect call. Area code 9-1-7... ( phone ringing ) speak. ( Female ) collect call for mr. Walters. Okay, I'll take it, operator. Ho, how you doin' ? You know. Thanks for the stamps. How you gettin' on ? I feel old. Hey, listen, john, I just want to say, uh, I hope your feelings weren't hurt too bad and that it never got back to the missus. The fuck you talkin' about ? You didn't hear the joke about ginny ? Never mind. Let it die a death. What joke ? John, you're better off not hearin' it. Trust me. Fuck that ! I demand you tell me, paulie ! John, you got more laborers on the job site than we got carpenters. What's the problem ? The problem is the carpenters are carryin' sheetrock and materials. So we ain't getting what we expected to get. Minimally expected. Have massarone hire more laborers off the books. Nobody's talkin' to you ! Alright, jesus. 65/35. Salut. ( Together ) salut. Johnny, you explain the other thing I want to talk about. Sure. Tony, it's come to our attention you bought property around frelinghuysen avenue and turned it in a week. So ? You did it with inside knowledge from ron zellman. Come to your attention from where ? That property's hot because of the esplanade. We share the esplanade. We share zellman. If the soprano family's gonna benefit from a thing carmine feels we should've too. Okay, we'll work somethin' out. ( Together ) salut. I've been your doctor for 30 years, you still hate the thermometer. Tony, furio's here ! Thank you for bringing those struvoli, I love those. Here's a few long-term bonds that I find effective. Wouldn't it be great if the person you trust most was your broker ? Let's look at your current allocations. At schwab, we give advice that's objective, uncomplicated and not driven by commission. Call 1-800-7-schwab to set up a consultation to check the health of your portfolio. And lay off the junk bonds. Mm. Mm. Hm, I got pictures of my new house. Oh, let me see. Welcome back, we're here today with our guests, dr. Del redclay, who's a professor of anthropology at rutgers university and spokesman for the anti-columbus protest. ( Carmela ) oh, my god. And also mr. Phillip L. Di notti... it's lovely, fur'. ... Italian american anti-defamation organization. Okay.

Managia la miseria. This thing gets on my nerves. Don't get me started. Well, let's start with the idea of a parade for a genocidal colonial general. A national holiday, no less. Such festivities are deeply offensive to us. These are pretty broad charges. All I know is italian-americans are extremely proud of christopher columbus. Admiral of the ocean seas and a great italian. You know very well of the compromised position we put forth. Now, if you people wanna make it an italian pride parade, we have no problem with that. I mean, western history does say columbus discovered america. The same america that put your people in bondage for three centuries. But every culture has had to bear the pain in the making of what I think we can all agree is a startling economic miracle. We cured polio. I have to agree with phil. The right to vote. Exactly. Take my grandparents. Two simple people from sicily, who braved the perilous middle passage-- whoa, middle passage ? That's a term for the slave trade. Montel, the italian people in this country also have suffered discrimination. Earth to phil. We're talkin' 300 years of slavery here. Enough. You okay, tony ? You look a little moosha-moosh. Uncle jun's trial starts today. First soprano family trial in 16 years. We should go. The guy's gonna be at the other place. Thank you for the cookies. And congratulations on that house. Oh, and I like the kitchen. Take a str uvoli. No. Mm. Be seated. Next c ase on the calendar, united states of america versus corrado john soprano, et al. Any applications before I bring in the jury ? No, your honor. No, your honor. Bring in the jury. These telephone charges on your last bill ? Cost me 40 bucks every time you pick up the phone. I can't-- $2,380 last month alone. I'm going to give you some preliminary instructions and explain the process by which we will try this case. The first order of business... looking out at this audience of proud, strong, beautiful women, how far we have come in this american journey. Look how we've both preserved the tradition of our ancestors and managed to become new italian-american wom. Such flair we have added to our image. And yet america still sees us as pizza makers and mama leone'S. Well, it is your job, ladies, to spread the word. Our grandmothers may have been dressed in black, but we're in moschino and armani. For those who say italian-americans eat smelly cheese and sip cold wine, tell them we're from the land of aromatic asiago and supple barolo. If they say spaghetti and meatballs, you tell them orchiette with broccoli rabe. If they say john gotti, you tell them rudolph giuliani. A princeton study showed that 74% of americans associated italian-americans with organized crime. Why would they do this ? Because of the way the media depict us. Again, it is our job to make sure people know the other side of italian-american culture. The educated, wage-earning, law-abiding side. Because isn't that who we truly are ? Thank you. Thank you, professor murphy, or should I call you professor longo-murphy ? Longo as you don't call me later for dinner. Small point. Didn't I read about a more recent study at fairleigh-dickinson that found the opposite was true ? That the great majority of americans recognize these are fictional portrayals ? We're still looking at the sample selection criteria used in that study. Well, thanks for an excellent talk. And thank you all for attending today. Uh, don't miss professor murphy's new book, "strega, the sorceress as imago figure in italian literature." And stick around for coffee and dessert, courtesy of cocuzzo's pastry shop. Well, I'll say it, that was totally uncalled-for. Father intintola's forgetting who his friends are. It was out outrageous, carm, I'm shocked. What are ya gonna do ? Everyone's entitled to their opinion. Really, though, how dare he ? After all you've done for this parish. What are you gonna do ? Well, I'm gonna cut him a new one. ( Knocking )

gab, bongiorno,

ven a ca. Father, I don't know what to say, I'm so upset. Why, what's wrong ? What's wrong ? Carmela is one of your biggest supporters and friends. How dare you let her suffer humiliation and embarrassment at the hands of an outsider ? I don't know what you mean. Oh, you know exactly what I mean. Unfortunately because of her husband's high profile in the waste industry, carmela's the one who bears the brunt of these insults. But there were many of us who were equally offended. I am sorry. This is an open forum. You did hear me bring up that new study. Well, if that's your idea of a good luncheon speaker I suggest you think about who really keeps this parish alive year after year. The sight of your cities pain the eyes of the red man. A man in your cities is numb to the stench- go back to your reservation ! Mussolini was hitler's bitch ! Go back ! In the words of chief seattle, "for the last red man shall have perished "in the memory of my tribe, shall have become a myth among the white men." Take your tom-toms and get outta here ! You son-of-a-bitch basti-d ! These shores, these woods, the highway will swarm with the invisible dead of our people ! The white man will never be alone ! This is newark, baby, we don't play that shit ! And that better not be columbus ! Take it down. He's going to burn the way our ancestors did ! Go sit down, cupcake ! We're not takin' anything down ! We're gonna fuckin' hang you up there ! Hey, break it up ! Let's break it up ! Break it up ! Hey, hey, we will make arrests ! What the fuck is this, joey ? They got a permit, sil. Everybody, come on, let's go ! Everybody ! I'll remember this, joey. ( Crowd shouting ) c'mon, c'mon, you, too. Let me go. Alright, we gotta go. We gotta go. Oh, shit. Down with... ! What are you doin' ? It's a peaceful demonstration here. Hey, hey, hey ! ( Whistling ) hey, everybody, get over here ! Get him outta here. ( Shouting ) orchiette and broccoli rabe, you know, the truth is that is northern. Oh, armani too, and michelangelo. ( Door closing ) what a coward that man is. He's always been a lily-liver. No, he's sweet. Oh, he's all apologetic now. I let him have it. Well, whatever, you did what you could. I couldn't leave here without saying something. You know, I gotta go, I'm gettin' my new crown today. Alright, bye-bye. Karen, bring bobby and the kids over for a cook-out on saturday. ( Phone ) hello ? ( Boy ) it's me, dad. What's up, bobby ? Mom tried to call you. She wants you to pick up some steaks and eggplants before you come home. She can't do it ? I'm stuck in traffic, now I gotta go to the store ? She had to go get some crowns or something. Your mother's a real pain in the you-know-what sometimes. When she gets home tell her I said thanks a lot. ( Phone ) well, if you can't find the recipe I'll ask angie. It's around here somewhere. ( Phone ) hello ? Hi, gab. What ? When ? Oh, my god. Oh, no. Oh, god, that's terrible. Oh, yeah, okay. What happened ? Karen had an accident on pompton avenue. She's dead. Oh, carm. ( Sobbing ) I get home for dinner last night, gabby's sittin' there devastated. I just saw karen at shoprite last week. You talkin' about karen ? Great kid. This happened to this doctor I know. Oriental ran right into him. What's bobby gonna do ? He adored that woman. What the fuck you doin' gettin' pinched for public disturbance when this family's on trial ? I'm sorry, ton', I-- and you, you went down there too. No. It was my idea. What the fuck ? We got little paulie in st. Barnabas. Plus we lost face down there. This is somethin' that hits home. I can't turn the other cheek on this. I know but we're runnin' a business here. Don't you all got somethin' to do ? What the fuck's with you ? I count on you to be the most level-headed guy I got. My father was a knight of columbus. An italian-american. And I pay money to the italian anti-defamation coordination council in basta. We're the victims here. Oh, you write a check, too ? Ton', let's not forget. It was a friend of ours, joe columbo, who founded the first italian-american anti-defamation organization. You were still outta line. You're right. 100%. But ? Well, as your consigliere, since you ask, I think the guys and myself, too, we need your leadership on this. Alright. Alright, good. I understand you wanna do somethin' but use your brain. Believe me, me and ralphie are workin' on a few things. This battle's gonna be won on the P.R. Level. Hearts and minds. They manipulate your image, columbus. You manipulate theirs. Alright. ( Phone ) who's calling, please ? Good morning, assemblyman. Hey, what's up ? You know this protest with the indians and columbus day ? Yeah, I heard about it. Well, we need somebody to make it go away. Oh, boy, that's a tough one. Real hot potato. Nobody wants to touch it. Why, we just want a peaceful parade like we've had for years with no interference. What's wrong with that ? It's the first amendment and it's native americans. Very sensitive stuff. My hands are tied on this one. Sorry. Yeah, fine. I will be attending the parade as always. You got my support there. Wish that I could-- the last time that you dated a friend and colleague of your brother's, he left you flat, disappeared into the witness protection program. I know. Now, another man who works with your brother unable to meet your basic needs for love and respect, involved with another woman. Which brings me back to my childhood and my mother and my father... now we're talkin'. Where I had no love and no support. And where I was shamed and ridiculed for being artistic. In your relationship with these men you have replaced your father with your brother, as a figure of authority that you need to prove something to. You set up these scenarios with these men similar to your father and your brother, seeking your brother, I.E. Your father's acceptance. The hell with 'em. I know. The work is to make new choices that have nothing to do with old patterns. I want to, sandy, I do. God give me the strength. She will. Your "star-ledger" interview conflicts with "eye on new jersey". Del redclay, right ? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I saw ya on channel 20-- no, don't get up. I'm henry caruso, I'm pleased to meet you. Now this lovely lady... maggie donner, I'm del's T.A. Yes, yes, I can see that. Well, I might as well get to the point. I represent a group of concerned citizens who are very upset about this protest you're spear-headin', no puns intended. Who do you represent ? Ah, italians. Here in new jersey. Good people. Family people. And they've asked me to tell you that it's really not in your best interest to go through with this fuckin' thing. Well, if you've come here to intimidate me you don't know much about indian resolve. Del, should I call security ? You remember this guy ? Iron eyes cody, he was an actor in the movies. "Son of paleface," "sittin' bull". Your fuckin' poster boy. Part cherokee, part cree. He wasn't even a fuckin' indian. Second generation sigilian' from louisiana named espera decorti. Well, I think you better leave now. The guy's a total fuckin' phony. A total fugazy. Even jay silverheels knew it. But he kept it quiet. Well, we're not gonna. You keep up your bullshit, we're gonna go wide with this thing. Knock yourself out. Jesus christ, is this true ?! This is a fucking disaster ! Chill out. You didn't know about this ? It's been on "access hollywood," "e"-- this is a major P.R. Boner. Del, it's been researched. Cody was definitely native american, total environmentalist. Are you sure about this ? Look, del I'm one-eighth italian myself. You are ? You never told me that. My great, great something or other was a pony soldier. Well, actually he was a violinist attached to the seventh cavalry. That is just one person's opinion, anthony. What, football again ? He's not gonna get hurt, he's a tough kid. Ow, jesus. We're having a discussion about christopher columbus. "They would make fine servants. With 50 men we could "subgate" them." Subjugate ? "And make them do whatever we want." That doesn't sound like a slave trader to you ? George washington had slaves, the father of our country. Well, what's your point ? His history teacher, mr. Cushman, is teaching your son that if columbus was alive today he would go on trial for crimes against humanity like milosevic in, you know, europe. Your teacher said that ? It's not just my teacher, it's the truth. It's in my history book. So you finally read a book and it's bullshit. Tony. Look, ya had to walk in columbus' shoes to see what he went through. People thought the world was flat, for cryin' out loud. Then he lands on an island with a bunch a naked savages on it, I mean, that took a lotta guts. You remember when we went to florida and the heat, and those bugs ? Oh, like it took guts to murder people and put 'em in chains. He was a victim of his time. Who cares, it's what he did. He discovered america is what he did. He was a brave italian explorer. And in this house christopher columbus is a hero. End of story ! ( Sobbing ) I should've known. I should've known you needed me. I should've been with you. I should've been in your place. My love, my sweet love. How he loved her. ( Whispering ) you know what I heard one time ? Sil was on the phone, he was talking with somebody about how bobby was the only one of them who doesn't have a goomara. They were laughing at him. Who was he talking to on the phone ? I don't know. I'll go first this time, I'll bring my eggplant parm over to bobby'S. Actually tomorrow is better for me. Ginny, hi. We were just talking about who's gonna do what when. I played canasta with her just last week. There he is, john, look, I'm sorry I missed allegra's nursin' school graduation. Unforgivable. But I made it up to her. Stick it in your ass. Hey, count chocula-- what the fuck, john ? Keep him away from me. John, what's goin' on ? I don't wanna talk about it. What's this ? I have no fuckin' idea. But I got better shit to do. You saw how it was with them at dinner the other night. Somethin's goin' on. Plus outta nowhere carmine's up my ass on this frelinghuysen avenue bullshit. Somebody's talkin' too much. And it's costin' me money. C'mon. There's no relief. I'm surrounded by death, my husband, my son, my friend. I don't know what to tell you, ro. There's pieces torn outta me. Chunks of me that are dead. I mean look at me, my youth, my looks, they're gone. No. That's from not takin' care of yourself. Dwellin' on all this stuff. It's not stuff. Do you have any idea what it feels like ? Do you ? It's not stuff, it's death, it's pain ! I'm havin' a lotta trouble dealin' with this. I don't know. You don't know what ? I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can help you. You need a lot right now and I don't think there's anything I can do. You can be there for me, you could comfort me. What about me ? What do I get out of it ? There it is. Right there. What do you get. How about your every need taken care of ? Sexually, everything. All your shit, it's all about you, isn't it ? It's not all about me, but, I mean... let's be realistic. Let's be realistic ? What, you wanna leave me ? Yeah. Then get the fuck out. It doesn't have tobe like this. How should it be, huh ? How the fuck should it be ?! Somehow carmine found out we were flippin' properties on frelinghuysen avenue, so your take's a little less than we talked about. He makes an issue out of zellman ? What's this one called, hesh ? This is pie-o-my. Just broke her maiden at belmont last month. A lotta speed. I'm buyin' her. Cool, man. She's beautiful, huh ? Don't you know somebody over there at, uh, deerpark casino, in connecticut ? Run by the mohonk tribe ? Yeah, marty, my niece's husband. This columbus day protest, we need somebody to make it go away. What's wrong with freedom of speech ? Yeah ? You should hear how my kid's talkin' about columbus. He calls him a thief and a murderer. Well, they wiped out almost all of my people. Cubans are from spain. Strictly speaking they were taino indians who got raped by columbus and the conquistadors. That's right, rueben. Moolinyan got martin luther king day, what do we got ? I can't say I don't have any sympathy for the red man. Why is that ? Jews, because of their history, have common cause with the oppressed. Some of the indians were deliberately given blankets tainted with smallpox. Died like flies. No shit ? Yeah, shit. Yeah ? You wanna talk about terrorism, look who started it. Amen to that, my friend. That's right. Christopher columbus was no better than adolf hitler. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up. Hitler ? Yeah. I'm not the only one who thinks so. Yeah, that indian, uh, from the protest, who was whinin' about the wilderness ? Had him on tv and he called columbus hitler. 'Cause it's true, man. You're talkin' outta your ass. Columbus and hitler ? You're trivializing the holocaust. Frankly, rueben, if you got that kinda covert anti-semitism, I'd like you to leave my house. Anti-semitism ?! That's right. Fuck you, too, my man ! Whoa, whoa ! Guys, c'mon, rueben, hesh, you guys been friends for years. I'll call marty up in connecticut, he knows a big mohonk. That cocksucker. We're no t tired. I didn't spill food 'cause I'm tired. Don't argue, okay ? Listen to your aunt grace and aunt mary, do what they say. Alright, say goodnight to your aunt carmela. ( Boys ) goodnight, aunt carmela. It's great your family could come down. They're leavin' tomorrow. Somebody's sick up there. ( Boy ) dad ? Dad. ( Phone ringing ) ( boy ) dad, sophia locked the door ! Should I get that ? ( Sophia ) he takes all my pencils ! ( Phone ) baccalieri residence. Carmela is that you ? It's corrado. Oh, hello. How's my boy, bobby, doin' ? He knows I couldn't make it to the services. He's alright, he's upstairs with the kids. What a heartbreak, huh ? You know, I remember the first time I met her like it was yesterday. It was my birthday dinner at roman gardens. I'll never forget it. She said I looked like pablo picasso. And I didn't even know what the hell picasso looked like. But, one day she showed me a picture of him, and you know, she was right. That's very touching, let me get bobby for you. I just wanna know if he's gonna pick me up for court tomorrow morning or if I should call murf. Maybe you should let bobby be for a little while. Think about his needs instead of your own. It's not me. Please, don't villainize me here. Murf goes to bed early so I wanted to call him now if I need him to drive me. I don't wanna disturb him when he's asleep, he's an old man, for godsake. ( Honking ) stella ! What the fuck are you doing ? We

don't have tohide, baby. I did it ! I told ro. Told her about us ? No. No, no, no, no. I told her I didn't wanna be with her anymore and I left ! Now I can devote myself to you completely. Now, there can be no more fear. No more guilt. Just sex. Yeah, yeah. You know what I want. Yeah, you want it all, don't you ? Oh, yeah. You need me, slut. I need it all, baby. Oh, oh, shit ! Oh, shit, tonight's my night I gotta bring food over to bobby bacala'S. You're on ziti patrol, too ? Ro's got thursdays. Well, what should I do ? ( Laughing ) you could do me a solid, tony. Next time you see hesh, remind him, my granddaughter's bat mitzvah present doesn't really work. The bubble jet printer ? I don't like to keep hockin' him. He knows about it. He said he lost the sales slip. So marty, where is this guy ? There he is. What'd I say, right on cue. Chief ! Ho ! Where, behind the preppy guy ? That's him. Chief, I'd like to introduce you to my friends, silvio dante, tony soprano. The guy I was tellin' ya about. Chief doug smith. Tribal chairman of the mohonk indians and ceo of mohonk enterprises. An honor. Thanks for comin' all the way down here. I had business in manhattan anyway. Ho, not again. Would you bring the gentleman a kettle one up, please ? So chief, he told you about the shit goin' down in newark ? Small element, ruins it for the rest of us. I've got a quarter of a billion dollar casino and a huge italian-american customer base. Providence, east boston, good people. Our part of the world, we're closer than atlantic city. This is a brand new facility, state of the art. Yeah, well, this fuckin' protest. They're burning columbus in effigy down there. They're gonna lay down in front of the parade. That's not gonna happen. People like redclay, they're outta touch. They're in their ivory towers. They don't understand the economic opportunity that funds much of the native american community. You should see the olympic-size swimming pool this man put in the deerpark reservation rec center. Well, we all got kids. We don't want to see our heritage attacked, that's all. Salut. Well, no offense, chief, but, uh... you don't look much like an indian. Ankly, I passed most of my life as white, until I had a racial awakening and discovered by mohonk blood. My grandmother on my father's side, her mother was a quarter mohonk. And all this happened when the casino bill got passed, right ? Better late than never. Mohonk if ya love columbus. Um, sorry I didn't make it last night. Mm, my bible group had a potluck for the homeless and I was on clean-up crew. Food, food, like that solves all the world's problems. Bobby, uh, we've be neighbors. I know that we don't talk much, but if you want to, I'm here for you. What is it ? That day... when she had the accident. I was stuck in traffic. And my son called because karen wanted me to pick up steaks and eggplants. And I was mad at her for sending me. I was tired. I was mad at her. But I was stuck in traffic because of her accident. She was up the road ahead of me lying in twisted metal. But I didn't know and I could've been with her. I should've been there to help her. But I was mad at her. Oh, my sweet karen. My sweet girl. ( Sobbing ) pass me the peppers. ( Phone ) hello ? Oh, yeah, just a second. Ton', it's the indian chief. Doug, how are ya ? Tony, I wish I had better news. I struck out. Redclay didn't go for it. Oh. Ask him about the iron eyes cody thing. The guy pretended he didn't even know me. You believe the son-of-a-bitch ? Ask him about cody. You ask him about iron eyes cody ? He didn't give a shit. It was some internet rumor. And most native americans, they don't give a flying fuck. It's like knowing james caan isn't italian. Alright, well, uh it was nice meetin' ya, and I appreciate the effort. You gotta let me make it up to you. C'mon up, spend a day. Sil, whoever you want. High rollers room, everything comped. Ah, sure, that sounds good. Great. The fuck he say about iron eyes cody ? Said ralphie had it all fucked up. And it don't mean nothin' anyway 'cause it's like knowin', uh, james caan isn't italian. Hm. We think this guy redclay's fuckin' a graduate student. We hire a detective-- I think it's over, sil. Yeah, but, all we gotta-- it's over. He had just lost his wife. Mm-hm. And he had so much sadness. So much love for her, such complete and pure emotion. I felt unworthy to be, even be in his presence. I was so moved by him. And then I look at ralphie. You saw in this man the things that you want in your life. Truth, love. Yes. Somehow I have to find a way to move away from the darkness and toward the light. What does this man do ? He works with my brother but he's not like the others. Janice. Sandy, he's different, believe me. Okay. But back to ralph. You've got to sit him down and level with him. Speak the truth, jan. But with the compassion and respect that you're famous for. And say goodbye. For his sake as well as yours. You're right. It's not his fault. ( Sobbing ) roll me some numbers, fearless leader ! Comin' at ya. Yeah, I'm ready, six ! Oh ! It's alright. You had a great run, T. You held the dice for quite awhile. Look at this operation. Whenever I'm in one of these places I remember that my grandmother was part fugahwe. Maybe I should do somethin' about it. Bullshit. No, no, it's true. She was. They were a nomadic tribe and, uh, they'd wander around, they get lost and they go, "we're the fugahwe ?" Ah-hoo. I see you gentlemen are having a good time. You getting enough to eat ? Yeah. Running out of my comps here. Go find marty, he's on the floor somewhere. Tony, can we talk a minute ? Buy you a drink ? Yeah, sure. I wanted to give you a check for jas' tuition. Okay. The statement's up in my bedroom. Oh, that's okay, I trust ya. Oh, wait, is it 5:00 ? John, I'm here at christopher columbus park in newark, where this afternoon violence broke out briefly between native american demonstrators and members of a coalition of 18 various italian-american pride organizations. Get outta here, this is our day ! You hear that ? He fed our people to his dogs ! ( Shouting ) my god, this is tragic. Could be scored with albinoni's adagio'. ( Car alarm activating ) janootski ! Janice ! This is it, hon. This is the last of the stuff I had at ro'S. Finito. Your shoes. What ? Didn't I ask you to take your shoes off when you came in this house ? Forgot. Sorry, hon. You forgot. So that's just it. You fuckin' forgot ! Oh, fuck. Geout ! Get out ! Ah ! My back, my back. I'll kill you, you crazy bitch. I'll kill you, you bitch. You crazy cunt ! Get out ! ( Scanning radio stations ) it's gotta b e on here somewhere. ( Male reporter ) scuffle at the columbus day parade in newark. Among those there arrested for blocking a fire lane was native american activist del redclay, who called the protest an unqualified success. Elsewhere a blind river rafter is going to get her wish after suing for a place in the colorado river-- I should've been there. I would've been fuckin' there. I forgot this was a monday. Maybe we oughta just whack this prick. Who the fuck are you kiddin' ? All you thought about was blackjack. What ? You think this day in the country was free, don't you ? Well, it wasn'T. Fuckin' chief smith wants frankie valli to come up there and play a week. That's what this whole fuckin' junket was about. Frankie ? Yeah, that's right. That's why he buttonholed me, goddammit ! There's bad blood with frankie's manager, so the chief wants me to call him directly. As payback for him reachin' out to redclay. Well, you're gonna make the fuckin' call. Well, I ain't seen frankie for years-- tough shit ! You're makin' the fuckin' call ! You and this fuckin' parade, already ! I don't know what you're so hot about. They discriminate against all italians as a grp, when they disallow columbus. Oh, will you fuckin' stop ? Group, group. What the fuck happened to gary cooper, that's what I'd like to know. He died. Oh, you mean 'cause he fought the sioux in all those westerns. No, fuck that. Gary cooper. Now there was an american. The strong, silent type. He did what he had to do. He faced down the miller gang when none of those other assholes in town would lift a finger to help him. And did he complain ? Did he say, oh, I come from this poor texas-irish illiterate fuckin' background or whatever the fuck so leave me the fuck out of it because my people got fucked over ! T., Not for nothin', but you're gettin' a little confused here. "A", that was the movies. Oh, what the fuck difference does that make ? Columbus was so long ago he might as well have been a fuckin' movie. Images, you said. The point is, gary cooper, the real gary cooper or anybody named cooper never suffered like the italians. The meddigan like him, eh, he fucked everybody else. Italians, the polacks, the blacks. Alright, even if he was a meddigan around nowadays he'd be a member of some victims' group. The fundamentalist christians, the abused cowboys, the gays, whatever the fuck ! He was gay, gary cooper ? No, are you listenin' to me ? Hey, people suffered. Did you ? Except for maybe the feds ? My grandparents got spit on because they were from calabria. Let me ask you a question. All the good things you got in your life, did they come to you 'cause you're calabrese ? I'll tell ya the answer. The answer is no. You got a smart kid at lack a wanna college. You got a wife who's a piece of ass. Least she was when you married her. You own one of the most profitable topless bars in north jersey. Now, did y get all this shit 'cause you're italian ? No, you got it 'cause you're you, 'cause you're smart. 'Cause you're whatever the fuck. Where the fuck is our self-esteem ? That shit doesn't come from columbus or "the godfather" or chef-fuckin' boy-r-dee. We gotta tiptoe around the indians though, don't we ? We can't call our teams the braves or the tomahawks or the-- oh, you take it up with frankie valli when you talk to him.

Girl, we can't

change the places where we were born

before you say that you want me

I want you to think what your family would say

think what you're throwing away

now think what the future would be

with a poor boy like me

think

dawn, go away I'm no good for you

dawn, stay with him, he'll be good to you

hang on, hang on, hang on to you

think, think, what a big man he'll be

think, think, all the places you'll see

now, think what the future would be

with a poor boy like me

me

dawn, go away I'm no good for you

dawn, go away I'm no good for you

captions copyright 2002